The Abyss of Pain
A few weeks ago, I started feeling a dull pain in my elbow. A week later, I had pretty severe pain in my neck. Soon after, the pain radiated from my neck, through my shoulders, down my arm, and into my fingers. Finally, it was accompanied by occasional numbness and a feeling that my elbow was on fire.
Over a few weeks, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t think straight!
First Stop
First stop on the road to wellness, I went to a conventional physician – a new one because we have new health insurance. She evaluated me for 2 minutes or so (no kidding) and told me I had nondescript pain in my neck and shoulders, with fairly severe tennis elbow. Then she gave me a referral to physical therapy. And that was it.
Second Stop
I promptly called physical therapy, and they told me I couldn’t see one person for those three different things: they had a neck and shoulders physical therapist, and an elbow therapist – I’d have to see both. And the next available appointment was 1 week away for the neck and shoulders, and 3 weeks away for the elbow. Oh, and they were in two different locations.
Trying to explain that my neck bone was connected to my shoulder bone, and the shoulder bone is connected to the elbow bone… didn’t work. Nope, there wasn’t anyone who could do that.
I was in so much pain that my eyes were tearing, I was grumpy, and I was having real difficulty concentrating on my work. The only time the pain subsided at all was if I was lying in bed in one particular position. And here I was faced with another 3 weeks of this sharp, radiating pain before comfort was even in sight.
Third Stop
So I made an appointment with my Naturopathic Doctor. He saw me just 2 days later. Instantly, Kevin sensed I was in a lot of pain. He spent 1/2 hour with me, learning exactly what was going on – by talking, moving and feeling my joints, and testing my strength and mobility.
His diagnosis: Nerve pain in my neck. I have a bad disc in my neck, which was probably injured back when I was in a car accident long ago and has now been re-injured. Ah, I realized, I’ve had tingling in my fingers for a long time.
At the same time, I also managed to get tennis elbow – probably from hyperextending my arms in my new yoga practice. So the two injuries were aggravating one another.
Kevin gently and carefully adjusted my neck and back. He gave me exercises. And pharmaceuticals (at that point, I was ready). And a specific vitamin supplement, for short-term and long-term healing. And orders to rest and ice as often as possible. And orders to make my desk even more ergonomic than it already is. And to modify my yoga postures when I go back to yoga.
That was 2 weeks ago. I am finally able to concentrate for a full day at work. Though I still get awfully tired – I have a difficult time getting up in the morning, and I’m ready to go home by 4 p.m., exhausted. The pain is still there, but it’s not mind-numbing anymore.
The Abyss Of Pain
I’m sure some of you have been to this place: the abyss of pain. It’s a cloudy-headed, self-absorbed, cranky, and impatient, dark hole of despair and disrepair. In that abyss, your brain can really only focus solidly on the immediate needs before you.
Have you been there?
It’s terrible. I’m lucky that the people around me understand, support, and forgive me. If you ever find yourself in that abyss, first be sure to tell others around you what you’re going through – otherwise, they won’t know, can’t support you, and might be less willing to forgive you for your impatience. And second, be sure to advocate for yourself until you get the care you need to overcome the pain.
Now it’s like a fog is lifting. I can write again. I can see the bigger picture again – the bigger picture of life, of business, of the planet.
